Grandma Says

Glinda writes:

Our high speed, disposable, "modern" age seems intent on trashing aspects of our lives which have meaning and enduring value. Those very elements provide guideposts we need for direction in these precarious times. Among them, the wisdom of Women Elders seems in danger of extinction. Indeed, our youth-centered culture with its focus on physical strength and distorted model proportions has a dismissive attitude toward people with ageing bodies (particularly those of females). Our knows-all culture blatantly discounts the considerable wisdom, strength, courage, understanding of and commitment to life across generations tucked inside many of our Women Elders.

I miss these ladies, the melody of their voices and their wise words which popped out at some of the most unexpected moments. At least, the wise words were unexpected by me; they would probably just smile. They spoke a language that was not on the approved list for someone like me who was educated and on some upward climb.

My Grandmother "Ottie" (Lottie Hart Brenz) cared for me when I was a baby and she lived with my family. (Ottie was my name for her, because I couldn't pronounce my "L's".) She passed when I was 2. My Croatian Grandma Dora Budiselich Bloskovich's given name in the Old Country was Dragica, meaning "beloved". I didn't spend much time with her because she lived in Iowa and California until I was in the 10th grade. I remember making things with her, including bread. Although she spoke no English and I spoke only those words and phrases I was taught to say, she would speak volumes between us while our hands were working the dough. Grandma Dora passed in 1966 when I was 18. Great Aunt Lula Myers Hart took care of my brother and me when we were growing up. She left school in the 2nd grade, but she was one of the smartest people I have ever known. Although in her 70s, she ran circles around the 2 of us, knowing before we knew what we were up to. Like so many of the ladies, she would say these short, simple statements that just summed it all up. You couldn't question what she said because her words emerged from the truth we all seek.

While Aunt Lu was not my Grandma, she was of that generation. In fact, all the ladies of that generation were the Grandmas. They spoke a direct, loving, knowing wisdom which was far beyond their young charges. All my life, I have yearned for and found ladies who would fill that niche. In North Dakota, Joan was one. As we were packing to leave, she came to our house, put her rainbow colored cane on the floor, sat down, and told Melanie and me with no excess words some lessons we needed to know if we were moving to a farm. When she was done, she picked up her cane and left. We just received a Christmas card from her; always the teacher, she wrote: "Don't forget to go the the County and State Fairs to check on the goats."

I am deeply sorry and ashamed the culture I come from has diminished those voices. I find that nothing less than a tragedy. It is their voices I yearn to hear. I would like to know what they would say to us that is important for our transitions in these turbulent times. So I am placing myself in a posture where I am open to those voices. Richard and I have been brainstorming those statements the Old Timers used to make. And of course, I am listening more and more to Mom.

This entry marks a series of posts called "Grandma Says". I will include those statements I remember which I feel are important guideposts for living in our times. The seeds of their words were planted deep inside of me. At last, they are ready to emerge.

What, Dear Reader, would your Grandma say that is important for our times? What are those gems of living she would share?

Photo above: Grandma Ottie with me at almost 2 months, October 30, 1948.

Photo below: Me with Aunt Lu in her room at the Baptist Home for the Aged in Ironton, Missouri, fall 1968. I was 20 and she was 85 at the time of this picture. Later, when Aunt Lu was in her 90s, she was on a panel of elderly from the Home for a group of nurses in training. She was asked: "What is it like to be aged?" To which she directly responded: "I am not aged. I am ageing. And everyone in this room is ageing too." Enough said.